


Second Chance

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Gabriel saves Dean and Sam, M/M, Toddler!Dean, Toddler!Sam, Uncle!Castiel, Uncle!Gabriel, actually Sam is the older brother after they are deaged, daddy!Gabriel, daddy!castiel, dean and sam finally get a happy childhood, sharing of grace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 23:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14758671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: Just one more hunt before Dean, Cas and Sam finally want to take a break. But between almost no sleep, alcohol and the fighting brothers, Cas realizes the mission is way too dangerous. Gabriel comes to their help, but he can save Dean and Sam only on one condition. He deages them.





	1. The last Hunt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorChibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/gifts).



> Hey ! :) So this work is for Sailorchibi, since i love her stories so much and she wrote something for me too a while ago (for imaginestarkquill). So this is my first try at Deaged!Dean and Deaged!Sam but i hope it will be a lot of fun! x

Castiel knew Dean and Sam quite good after all the years, they spend together, but sometimes they still managed to confuse him greatly.

"I thought we were doing a holiday?" Castiel asks again and he slightly tilts his head. He can see in the rearview mirror that Dean rolls his eyes at him. Even Sam sighs quietly.

"Yeah man. But we can't let this hunt go, right? There are people in danger and from what Sammy said, it could be the mother of all witches." Dean explains and Castiel nods at that. Actually he was relieved, that they would take a break. 

"Sam." 

"What?" Dean asks and looks at Sam. Castiel would feel better, if Dean would watch the street and not his brother.

"My name is Sam. How many times do I have to explain that to you. Sammy was a 5-year-old. He is gone." Sam answers angrily and Castiel watches Deans reaction carefully. He sees how Dean rolls his eyes again, but he can also see the hurt in his eyes.

Dean Winchester is good with hiding his emotions, but Castiel learnt to read them anyway. He knows, that Dean would do anything for his brother, already died more than once for him, but Castiel never met anyone who would care as much as Dean does.

"I don't know much about the mother of the witches." Castiel says, before Sam and Dean can start to bicker again. They do that a lot lately. That's why Castiel thought a short holiday would do them good. They even had found a quiet little house in the near of a beach.

"I hate witches." Dean mumbles under his breath and Sam looks back to Castiel.

"Well I suppose she is just as nasty as other witches. Just like…older. Way older." Sam explains and Castiel nods. He actually shares the hate for witches with Dean.

"We'll stop there. Kill the witch and then finally take a break." Dean says and he actually sounds happy. Castiel wishes he could see Dean smiling like this more often. Dean isn't as carefree as he always was. 

"I don't think it will be that easy." Castiel says and Dean huffs loudly. He turns his music louder and ends the conversation like this. Castiel looks out of the window.

Why has he such a bad feeling about this?

 

*

 

They actually wait till the next morning, since they found a small motel in the town and because Dean was yelling at them, that he needed his goddamn sleep. 

Castiel sits already outside on a bench and watches the other people around the motel. He is still amazed of the human species, even after watching them for so many years. Right on the other side is a young woman with a little child. The boy is running around the grass and laughing loudly.

"Hey Bro."

Castiel isn't one, who gets easily surprised, but this time he nearly jumps up at the voice. To his right is Gabriel sitting, sucking on a bright lollipop. 

"Gabriel!" Castiel says angrily and he tries to straighten his now rumpled trench coat. 

"What's up?" Gabriel asks calmly and he looks as well to the mother and her child. Castiel looks ashamed to the ground. Of course Gabriel knew what he thought.

"Dean and Sam found the mother of all witches." Castiel says and Gabriel puts the lollipop away with a loud smack of his lips.

"I know, that's why I'm here. Wouldn't want our favorite hunters to die, right?" Gabriel says and Castiel raises his eyebrows at that. He knows that Gabriel does care about them, but he never fought with them before. 

"So bad?" Castiel asks and Gabriel nods.

"Yeah she is… a real pain in the ass. And not the fun way, like I am." Gabriel says and he looks back to the mother. Castiel does so too and for a few moments, they just sit there in entirely silence. It's nice.

"Could you maybe stop reading my mind?" Castiel says, after he feels Gabriel's grace just way too close to his current thoughts. He is sure Gabriel knows them anyway, but it still feels weird. Normally he likes feeling Gabriel's grace around him. It calms him down and he is glad to have is brother back.

But not now.

"Why little Bro? Scared I find something you try to hide for years?" Gabriel is actually smirking at him and Castiel turns away. When they were a lot younger Gabriel had practically raised him. When Gabriel disappeared Castiel was left behind heartbroken. He always thought about raising a younger angel, too. But he never actually did it.

Instead he watched the humans, who showed love very openly and yeah Castiel arches to be a father. He saw how Jimmy did it with Claire for years, but when he got to see her a few months ago she was happy to see him, but called him only his uncle, with a smile.

"Stop it." Castiel says halfhearted and Gabriel sighs.

"I thought you liked being an angel." Gabriel says and Castiel nods. He is glad to be an angel. He missed his powers when he was human for a short time. He loves his wings way too much. But he liked to eat human food and actually enjoy it. 

"I do. But sometimes…well I know there are a lot of kids, who wished for a father." Castiel says and he stands up, before Gabriel can ask some more embarrassing questions. 

But to be fair, Castiel is done with hunting. He had done it all his life and he can understand why Gabriel vanished, when Michael and Lucifer started their war. But now Lucifer is gone and Castiel just wants…a normal human life. Well as normal as it can be for him.

"What is he doing here?"

Castiel turns around, he was so distracted with Gabriel, he didn't hear Sam coming. Sam looks as if he hadn't slept at all, but that is actually just the normal look for the Winchesters anyway. Castiel is still worried.

"Helping us." Castiel says and Gabriel actually bows in front of Sam.

"Samsquatch. I'm so glad to see you, too." Gabriel says and he grins. Sam just shakes his head and goes over to the impala. He puts something in the trunk and then glares at the ground.

"He is…a bit exasperated." Castiel tries to explain, but Gabriel looks worried for a few seconds. Before Castiel say anything more, Gabriel goes over to the impala and stands close to Sam.

"Where is Dean?" Castiel asks and Sam just growls quietly. Castiel decides to leave Sam with Gabriel and look after Dean. Normally Dean would be the first out of bed and behind the steering wheel. 

The motel room is quiet and also still dark. Dean is sitting on the bed, but his eyes are closed and he rubs over his forehead. Castiel frowns at that and closes the door quietly behind him.

"Dean?"

"What the hell, Cas!" Dean says angrily and he turns even more away from Castiel, who tries very hard not be hurt by that action.

"Are you alright, Dean?" Castiel asks and he knows, that Dean wouldn't tell him the truth. Or maybe not all of it. So when Dean nods, he sighs quietly, but he knew it.

"Just had a small fight with Sammy. _Sam_." Dean says and he rubs his forehead again. Castiel had noticed that the brothers tended to fight a lot more in the last weeks. Dean always thought he had to protect Sam from just everything.

"We can call some other hunters and…" Castiel begins, but Dean just turns around and glares at him. Castiel holds both of his hands up and then squints at Dean.

"What?" Dean asks annoyed.

"Are you hurt?" Castiel wants to know, because yes he doesn't read Deans thoughts anymore, since that is apparently "rude". But he can feel his soul anyway. And Dean isn't well today.

"No. Just a headache. Nothing special. Now wait outside. I need ten minutes." Dean says and as Castiel leaves the room, he can see how Dean takes some pills with alcohol. He sighs.

Sometimes he really wishes Dean would let him help.

"Fuck you Gabriel!" Sam yells, when Castiel comes back to them. Gabriel is laughing at him and Sam frowns at the archangel. Castiel isn't sure what happened, but Sam seems really angry. 

"Where would be the fun in that?" Gabriel asks back and Sam shows him his middle finger, before he sits down in the Impala. Gabriel rolls his eyes but smirks at Castiel.

"Dean will be here shortly. But he has a headache and I think he is a bit drunk." Castiel says and Gabriel claps his hands.

"Sam is angry at Dean and he hasn't slept a single minute." Gabriel answers calmly and Castiel wants to scream.

"So are we ready?" Dean asks when he comes out and he actually stumbles on the way to the car.

_Ready to die maybe._

Castiel thinks. But he doesn't say anything.

 

*

"SAMMY!"

Castiel is too slow. Just as he said the witch is way to strong and she also has lot of helpers with her. Castiel knows that Gabriel is with her right now. But his powers aren't as strong as they used to be. Same goes for Castiels. They aren't weak. But they are tired. Castiels grace feels like it is shaking.

"IT'S SAM!" Sam yells back, but he is distracted because of that and one of the younger witches takes that chance. Castiel sees the bright light and he sees that Dean tries to run to Sam.

Castiel hears someone screaming and he isn't even sure who it is. Maybe he is the one screaming. But then the light gets brighter and it hits Dean square in the chest. Castiel sinks to his knees and yes he realizes, he is the one screaming.

Dean goes down and the light hits Sam as well and Castiel sees everything in a blur. He doesn't even realize that his own tears, are blurring his sight. But he is sure Dean and Sam are…

"Cas! Come on brother. Cas please." Gabriel is talking to him, but Castiel can only look at Dean. His eyes are closed and he seems so calm. His whole body seems relaxed and even his face looks as if he is at peace.

Castiel can't lose him again. 

Gabriel lets go of Castiel and goes over to Sam and Dean. Castiel closes his eyes, when Gabriel leans over them. There is another light and Gabriel's grace explodes around him. Even Castiel's grace is leaving Castiel somehow and he feels weaker with every second. Is Gabriel killing them, too?

Castiel blacks out for a few minutes or maybe more. But when he comes back, he can see Gabriel kneeling next to him. His face only inches from Castiel's face apart.

"Gabe…" Castiel mumbles and it sounds weak to his own ears. His whole body starts shaking again and something deep in his bones is hurting. He even has a headache. And he is hungry. 

"Cas. Oh baby bro finally. Took you long enough. For a second I thought, I actually killed you." Gabriel says and he carefully helps Castiel to sit up. It takes all of Castiel's strength not to puke on Gabriel for that. He feels dizzy, too. What is happening?

Then it all comes back to him. Dean. Sam. The witches. 

"Dean?" Castiel asks and he coughs.

"He is…well he is alive. Sam too." Gabriel says and Castiel nods. He knew that Gabriel's grace did something to them and he actually even managed to get Castiel's grace to help, too. But he isn't sure what happened. 

"How?" Castiel says then and he looks around. He can't see Dean or Sam. But he can see the witches around them. They are all dead, even the mother of all witches. Gabriel grins.

"Let's just say I should use my archangel powers more often. But the witches are gone. I knew an old spell and thought why not try it. Dean and Sam…I was too late Cas. I…I mean they were nearly dead, when I was finally with them. So i had to decide…let them die or…" Gabriel explains and he stops and shakes his head.

Castiel squints as him or he tries to. His head is still hurting and he gasps. _No._

"Are we human?" Castiel asks, because the last time he felt so much pain and hunger he was human. Gabriel smiles only a bit and then shakes his head.

"I'm not sure. I mean I can still see your wings and I feel my own, too. But yeah I feel a lot like I imagine a human would feel. I split our grace." Gabriel says then and Castiel's eyes widen. He heard about that. It wasn't really allowed to share your grace with a human and most of the times angel died, when they did that. 

But since God isn't around anymore and with Gabriel being not only an angel, but an archangel, it actually did seem to work. Castiel rolls his shoulders and yes he can still feel his wings. But he feels weaker, too. Exhausted and his grace is a lot slower. 

"I can feel my grace. But…only half of it." Castiel says in the end, because it really feels like this. Gabriel nods and carefully brushes over Castiel's black wings.

"The other half is now Deans." Gabriel explains and Castiel's eyes widen.

"How?" Castiel asks and Gabriel at least looks a bit ashamed. 

"As I said I split our grace. You gave half of it to Dean and I gave half of it to Sam. They were dying Cas. I could see it." Gabriel says and Castiel shakes his head over and over again.

"Doesn't the grace kill them?" Castiel says and he slowly tries to stand up. Gabriel helps him and then Castiel can't help it, but he leans heavily against Gabriel. He feels to weak to walk on his own and he doesn't even want to think about flying somewhere.

"No but it has some side-effects." Gabriel says and Castiel nods. He doesn't know what his brother means, but he just wants to sit down again. Hopefully in the Impala next to Gabriel with Sam and Dean in front of them.

"I really need this break now." Castiel huffs and Gabriel chuckles, while they walk slowly back to the car. The Impala is still standing there, as if nothing happened and Castiel has to smile. Dean would be over the moon to see, that his Baby was alright.

"Yeah I really think we should take a while off." Gabriel says and he opens the passenger door for Castiel. He helps Castiel to sit down on the passenger seat and Castiel frowns.

"I always sit in the back." Castiel says and he frowns harder, when Gabriel sits down behind the steering wheel. Gabriel sighs loudly and looks to Castiel, before he starts the car.

"The back is a bit…occupied." Gabriel tries and Castiel turns around. He imagined he would find Dean and Sam sleeping, because they nearly died and the fight was exhausting anyway. Maybe he would even see them heavily injured and with blood all over them.

He didn't imagine to see two toddlers, who look a lot like Dean and Sam sleeping on the backseat.


	2. Every start is hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go with another chapter :) Hope you all like it!

They drive for almost two hours, before Gabriel finally stops the impala. Castiel was still way to shocked to talk about what happened and he feels tired without half of his grace. But now he can't help it. He needs to know what happened back there. 

"What did you do?" Castiel tries to stay calm, but he wants to yell at Gabriel. He wants to scream and maybe punch his brother, too. Dean and Sam are still toddlers and Castiel feels like he is going crazy. Luckily for them both toddlers are still sleeping. 

"I saved their lives. You're welcome." Gabriel answers calmly, when he parks the car outside their little house near the beach. Castiel isn't sure why Gabriel even knows where they wanted to stay for their break, but he doesn't care. He has other problems for now.

"Then why do they look like five-year-olds?" Castiel growls back and Gabriel hushes him, before he gets out of the car. Castiel gets out of it, too and glares at Gabriel, who quietly shuts the door.

"Actually only Sam is five. Dean is maybe two and a half." Gabriel answers and he shrugs, as if that is nothing to be worked up about. Castiel glares even more at his brother, but Gabriel seems to ignore him and opens the back door on his side and kneels down. 

"How comes they are five and two and a half." Castiel hisses but Gabriel ignores him completely and carefully picks Sam up from the backseat. Sam grumbles at bit, but then cuddles against Gabriel's chest, before he continues to sleep quietly. Gabriel nods at Dean and then turns around to get into the house.

Castiel wants to scream at his brother for real now, but he isn't very keen about waking the kids. _The kids._ Castiel can't believe this is something that actually happens in his life, even though he has seen weirder stuff with the Winchesters. 

Dean makes a quiet sound and he frowns in his sleep. Castiel opens the door and kneels down. He sighs quietly and just watches Dean for a moment. Dean really looks adorable like this and Castiel is ashamed for that thought. He needs to find a way to get Dean back to his adulthood, he should not enjoy this.

"No. P-please no." Dean mutters in his sleep and he starts to struggle. Castiel nearly jumps to his feet at that. He isn't sure what he should do now. Dean's face crumbles and for a second Castiel is afraid, that he would start to cry. Castiel has seen Dean crying on just a few occasions and he always tried to be a man about it. Like quietly wipe the tears away and glare at something. Never let others see his emotions.

"Hey Dean. It's okay." Castiel whispers quietly and he picks Dean carefully up. He is so small and skinny. Castiel presses him firmly against his chest and Dean mumbles something, before he settles down again. Castiel looks at him and smiles. He sighs quietly and then follows Gabriel to the house.

"Gabriel?" Castiel asks, when he opens the door and is greeted with silence. A second later Gabriel comes out of a room with a tired smile. Castiel frowns.

"Since I don't have much of my grace left, I couldn't change the house like I wanted. But at least I could change two of the bedrooms into nurseries." Gabriel explains and then he actually sways on his feet. Castiel never saw him that powerless before.

"I'm still not sure, I know what is going on here." Castiel says and his brother nods shortly.

"Put Dean down. Then we'll talk." Gabriel says, before he goes over to what Castiel assumes is the living room or the kitchen. Castiel looks into the first room Gabriel came out and sees Sam sleeping in a tiny bed. He seems healthy and Castiel goes to the next room. It's really a nursery. With a crib and everything. 

Castiel tries to ignore the fluttering in his chest and goes into the room. Luckily Dean is still sleeping and Castiel tries to put him very carefully down into the crib. Dean starts to struggle again and Castiel automatically strokes his hair. Dean calms down at that and Castiel nearly faints, when Dean puts his thumb into his mouth and sucks quietly.

"We'll figure something out, Dean." Castiel whispers and Dean smacks his lips, before his eyes flutter and he continues to sleep calmly. Castiel isn't sure how he feels about this, but he knows he can't ignore that feeling. Before he can do something stupid, like kissing Dean on the forehead, he turns around and goes to Gabriel.

Gabriel is, just as Castiel assumed, in the kitchen and sits on one of the chairs. He really looks pretty bad and Castiel feels like he looks not so good either. 

"So we shared our grace." Castiel starts and he sits down on the other chair opposite from Gabriel. His brother nods and then he sighs loudly.

"Look. I was trying to kill that witch and then I heard them fighting again and I saw…well the spell from that young witch was strong enough to kill Sam. And then Dean the idiot, jumps in front of him and…man I didn't have another choice." Gabriel explains and he seems a bit frustrated with himself, too.

"But then why are they so young and when will they be back to full strength?" Castiel asks and Gabriel looks at his hands. Now, Gabriel is a lot of things, but Castiel never once saw him this embarrassed.

"Well see. I wasn't even sure if it would work at all. But when I split my grace and shared it with Sam, I knew I wouldn't get him back completely. So I decided to take what I could get and wow this sounds wrong… I only had enough strength to turn him into a five-year-old instead of watching him die." Gabriel mumbles and he really seems ashamed. 

"I can't believe this." Castiel mutters and he frowns at himself.

"Believe me, I don't like this either. Your strength was even weaker then mine and since you aren't an archangel I'm glad it worked at all, when I took your grace for Dean. So yeah he is only half as old as Sam." Gabriel explains and he gets up to get himself some water. He puts one glass down in front of Castiel as well.

"And when will they be back to normal?" Castiel asks and he is a bit surprised that he is actually very thirsty and finishes the glass of water in just a few gulps. 

"In like…35 years?" Gabriel says and Castiel doesn't find any words. What have they done?

"B-but you can't.. I mean what now?" Castiel asks, when he finally feels like he can breath again. And isn't that weird. He actually has to breath now. His lungs need the air. 

"Now we take care of them, what else? Believe me, I'm not as happy to be a dad as you are. So I don't like this either. But it was this or their death. I'm not even sure, if they can remember their life before or anything and it's not like we can ask Michael, Lucifer or Raphael for help, right?" Gabriel says and he sounds angry at himself or at the situation. Castiel shakes his head.

"I don't want to be _Dean's_ dad." Castiel frowns and Gabriel laughs quietly.

"Yeah anyway. I can't change it now. Fuck I don't even know if they are still human." Gabriel says and Castiel looks up at that.

"What do you mean?" Castiel asks and he wants to smack his brother, really bad.

"Look. I mean we aren't human now, right? But we aren't fully angels either. So maybe…maybe they are half angel now, too?" Gabriel says and Castiel lets his head fall down on the table. He isn't ready for this. They need to find a way to…

"H-hello?" 

A tiny voice asks shakily and Castiel turns around. In the doorway stands Sam. He rubs over his eyes and looks at both of them, while he doesn't seem to be afraid, he is at least skeptical. Castiel doesn't know what to do.

"Sam. You're awake!" Gabriel says and Castiel knows his brother fakes his happiness only for the sake of Sam. 

"Yes…but I feel weird." Sam says and he slowly comes closer. Castiel would laugh at Gabriel's face, if he wasn't so shocked himself. Sam looks up at Gabriel and holds his hands up. Gabriel looks back to Castiel and frowns.

"I think he wants to be picked up." Castiel whispers and Gabriel frowns harder, but at least he turns around and picks Sam up. He carefully puts Sam on his lap and Sam cuddles closer to him.

"What's going on Sammich?" Gabriel asks carefully and Sam looks up at him.

"Dunno. Am I sick, Daddy?" Sam asks and he puts Gabriel's hand on his forehead. Castiel isn't sure who gasps louder, Gabriel or him. Did Sam just called Gabriel his father? And what…why…Castiel shakes his head and glares at Gabriel when Sam doesn't look. His brother hadn't told him the whole truth.

"No I don't think so, Sam. But do you want to lay down on the couch and watch tv? I can make you some tea." Gabriel says and his voice is so soft, that Castiel has to look away. He remembers how Gabriel used to talk to him like that. 

"I wanna read a book." Sam announces and Gabriel helps him down again.

"Sure thing. I'll be there in a few minutes okay? Just pick one of the books in the living room." Gabriel says and he kisses Sam on the hair. Sam just nods and then leaves the room. Castiel gasps still after him and then looks at his brother, who really gets up to make some tea, as if everything what just happened was completely normal.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?!" Castiel says and Gabriel smirks at him.

"I can't believe I have to say this, but no swearing around the kids, little brother." Gabriel says and he turns around to the tea again. Castiel is sure that he has a heart attack or maybe he is already dead. Again. He had dreams like this before.

"Why is he calling you, _that_?" Castiel asks and Gabriel sighs.

"Well what do you want me to say. I didn't have enough strength to change their complete memories, but I did change a bit. They still know that Mary and John are dead. But they believe…we adopted them, okay? They know that they are brothers and we didn't want to separate them. So you got yourself a baby, congratulations." Gabriel snaps at him and Castiel looks down.

"You didn't have to change their memories." Castiel says in the end, because he feels horrible about it. Gabriel is already at the door with the tea in his hands.

"You are right. I didn't have to. But do you want to explain them why two strange men are with them? Sam would think we wanted to kidnap them and call the police or something. You know how smart he is." Gabriel says and Castiel feels himself nodding. He hates this. He doesn't want it that way.

"But this isn't right." Castiel tries it again and Gabriel sighs.

"I know. But…just think about it. They already had a bad childhood before and I can't get their real parents back. And with John Winchester I don't even know, if I _want_ to get him back. So this could be their second chance." Gabriel says and he is out of the door with that. Castiel can hear him speaking to Sam, but he tries to ignore it.

Castiel isn't sure how long he sits in the kitchen and stares out of the window. But he doesn't know what to do. Normally he would've imagined Gabriel would freak out over such a situation, but now it's Castiel who wants to run away. If Dean or Sam would ever be back to normal again, they would hate them for this.

But then again, what if they really don't get back to their normal selves?

Castiel sits up abruptly, when he feels something weird around his grace. It takes him a second, to realize that it's his other half of grace - or rather Dean - that is calling for him. Castiel is not ready for this. It takes him another three minutes to finally stand up and go back to the small nursery.

Dean is sitting crying in the crib and Castiel's heart breaks at the sight. This is not what he is used to. Normally Dean cries silently, but this time he is crying loudly and he doesn't seem to be ashamed about it. Castiel shakes his head. Of course not, he is a child. 

"Hello Dean." 

Castiel cringes at his own words, even though he said it a million times to Dean before. But this time it doesn't seem like a good idea. Dean looks up at the words anyway and while he doesn't calm down, he at least stops crying so loudly.

"Why are you up, hm?" Castiel asks and he comes closer to the crib. He isn't sure how much Gabriel changed in Dean's mind. Maybe he doesn't know Castiel anymore. Gabriel had said they thought they were adopted, but Dean was so young. Would he even understand that?

"Up!" Dean cries louder again and Castiel isn't sure if Dean just repeats what Castiel said or if he really wants to be picked up. But when Castiel stands right next to him, Dean holds his arms up, just like Sam did earlier. 

"Oh you really want up." Castiel says and he carefully picks Dean up and out of the crib. Dean puts his tiny hands around Castiel's neck and presses his hot face against Castiel's shoulder. So he is still upset. Castiel isn't even sure how much Dean can already talk. He is a bad father. 

Why did he ever want to become a father? He will never be good enough.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm here. I will not leave you." Castiel whispers and he also rocks Dean a bit, like he always saw other parents do it. At first Dean cries harder, but then he finally calms down and stops crying. Castiel is still holding him close and he can't help it. He feels good with Dean in his arms.

"Cassie are you okay?" 

Castiel turns around to see Gabriel in the doorway. He seems worried and still exhausted. Castiel feels like he needs some sleep, too. But now that Dean and Sam are awake, they would for sure not sleep for a while.

"Yes…Dean just…well I was…" Castiel actually stutters and Dean squirms in his arms. 

"Sammy?" Dean asks shyly and he looks up at Gabriel. Castiel doesn't see how Dean looks, but he can see how Gabriel practically melts, when Dean looks at him.

"He is in the living room. You wanna see him?" Gabriel asks and Dean nods, before he cuddles back against Castiel's chest. Castiel smiles and then follows Gabriel into the living room. Sam is still sitting on the couch and reading his book. Castiel wants to sit on the love chair at the other side of the room, but Dean starts to wiggle in his arms and he lets him down.

"Sammy!" Dean squeals and then he clasps his hands over his mouth and looks around. He seems almost scared and even Gabriel stops smiling.

"It's okay Dean. Daddy and Uncle Cas won't yell at you for being loud." Sam explains slowly and Castiel frowns at those words. He knows only a bit of the parenting from John Winchester, but apparently Sam and Dean still remember some things. Even though Dean was still happy at this age, the first time around. Or so he had told Castiel.

"That's right kiddo. We would never yell for being too loud. We would only be even louder with you." Gabriel says happily, but he shoots Castiel a worried glaze, too. 

"They are right, Dean." Castiel whispers, when Dean looks back at him. Dean nods slowly, but he still seems way too wary around them. Sam helps him up on the couch and Dean sits between Sam's legs. 

"You want me to read for you? I always liked when you read for me." Sam says then and he opens his book again. Castiel glares at Gabriel, because obviously the brothers still have enough memories, of Dean being the big brother. Gabriel shrugs and he makes a movement, that looks a lot like _I will explain it to you later_.

"Yes, please." Dean says quietly and Castiel feels himself smiling at that. He always knew that Sam and Dean were cute kids. But to actually see it, makes Castiel feel weird, but happy.

Sam starts reading again, this time out loud and Dean leans back against Sam's chest. They look adorable and after a few minutes, Dean puts his thumb into his mouth. He quietly starts sucking on it and Castiel makes a mental note, to buy him a pacifier.

"Not too bad, hm?" Gabriel asks after a while and Castiel looks up to him.

"I would feel better, if you would tell me why Sam remembers, that Dean used to read for him." Castiel whispers to him and Gabriel shrugs.

"Told you. I couldn't change everything." Gabriel whispers back and Castiel frowns. But then Dean looks up at him and waves cutely at him and Castiel can't help it. He laughs. 

For the first time in weeks he laughs loudly and his brother and both little boys start laughing too. And when Castiel sees how happily Dean giggles, he can't help it, but he feels good with that.

He would try to be a good father for Dean. He would do anything for him.


	3. I'll be good, i'll be good

It's almost 8 pm, when Castiel looks up.

"What was that?" Castiel asks and he rubs his eyes. He was nearly asleep. Sam is still sitting on the couch with Dean, but Gabriel is gone. Some noise had woken Castiel up from his daydream.

"Dean's tummy." Sam says and Castiel can hear that growling again. He frowns.

"Dean are you hungry?" Castiel asks surprised and Dean looks up, when Castiel says his name. His big green eyes are even wider than usual and Castiel thinks he understands now, why human call it "puppy-dog eyes."

"Yes?" Dean mumbles around his thumb and he sounds unsure about his answer.

"Oh well then… I mean we should eat something right? I feel hungry, too." Castiel says and he stands up. Before he can even go over to the boys, to pick up Dean, Gabriel comes back into the living room. He is grinning widely. 

"Guess who just made dinner." Gabriel says happily and clasps his hands. Castiel raises both eyebrows, because he didn't knew Gabriel could cook and he knows for sure Gabriel wouldn't work his grace now while feeling this exhausted.

"Daddy, you?" Sam gasps and he sounds as surprised as Castiel feels. So Castiel chuckles at Sam's expression.

"Of course, Sammich. Anything for you." Gabriel says and goes over to Sam, who already hold his hands up. Castiel hastily takes Dean onto his own arm and watches how Gabriel cuddles Sam. He wishes he would be this carefree with his…well son?

"Then let us fill the little tummy of yours." Castiel whispers to Dean, who looks again at him. Normally Castiel is the one, who always stares at Dean, but now this seems to have changed. Dean looks at him, as if hung the moon into the sky. Castiel shudders.

"Please?" Dean says quietly and Castiel just smiles at him. He had seen a few moments of Dean's childhood, when he raised Dean from hell. But he doesn't remember everything. Back then he didn't really care about stuff like that. Dean was just his mission. Castiel hates his old self back then. But he is sure he doesn't remember Dean as a shy kid.

"I made us some mac and cheese." Gabriel says and Sam cheers at that. Castiel frowns, since he doesn't know if that is something good. When he was human he only ate, what Dean did and that were mostly burgers and fries. Dean doesn't react at all at the mention of mac and cheese and Castiel thinks, that maybe he doesn't like it.

"Come on Daddy. I'm hungry, too." Sam says and when Gabriel puts him down again, he is already running towards the kitchen. Forgotten is that he didn't feel so good a few hours ago. Castiel thinks, it's because their bodies and minds are finished changing for now.

Castiel follows them quietly and chuckles at the sight in the kitchen. Gabriel is standing at the oven and puts their food in a few bowls. Sam is already sitting on one of the chairs and plays with his spoon. Gabriel does seem to have used some of his mojo, because the chair from Sam is new and next to Castiel's chair is a bright green highchair. 

"You okay?" Castiel asks, because Gabriel still looks very bad. They need some sleep and Castiel hopes, he can put Dean down after their dinner and sleep himself. 

"Yeah. Isn't that hard to create two chairs." Gabriel says and he turns around. He has a bright red bowl in his hands and put it down in front of Sam.

"Okay." Castiel answers and he smiles, when Sam immediately starts eating. It's messily and reminds him of Dean in his adult state. Castiel laughs, when Gabriel frowns at Sam's behavior. 

"Sammy? What do we say?" Gabriel asks and he puts both of his hands on his hips. He looks like a mama bear like this and Castiel snorts again. His brother glares at him.

"Thank you, daddy." Sam says and he grins all sweetly up at them. Castiel can practically see how his brother melts at that and Gabriel nods. He still takes Sam's spoon out his hands.

"Very good. But we still wait, till anyone has some food, okay darling?" Gabriel says and Sam pouts, but he doesn't try to start eating again. Gabriel puts the spoon back on the table and gets some mac and cheese for Castiel and Dean. After that he gets a bowl for himself and sits down next to Sam.

Castiel goes over to his own chair and helps Dean into his highchair. Dean looks confused at that and he carefully puts his hands down on the white tray. It seems as if he never had seen something like this before. Castiel sees that the highchair has a safety strap and he carefully closes it, so Dean wouldn't hurt himself.

"Huh?" Dean makes at that and Castiel smiles at him.

"It's to make sure, you are safe, baby." Castiel says and he frowns a bit at himself, when he uses that pet name. But somehow it fits and Dean even smiles sweetly at him. He is still shy though and puts his hands over his face, to hide. Castiel chuckles and sits down.

"So now we can start eating, Sammich." Gabriel says and Sam cheers again, before he starts eating hastily. Gabriel just laughs at the behavior and starts eating, too. Castiel takes a bite himself and he is surprised, that it's actually tasty. Gabriel smirks at him and Castiel rolls his eyes.

With every bite he feels his hunger even more and Castiel is glad to have something to eat. His hunger is just as bad, as it was, when he was infected by one of the horseman and couldn't stop eating those burgers. Only after a few minutes, he realizes that Dean isn't eating. 

"I thought you were hungry, Dean?" Castiel asks and Dean looks at him, when he hears his name. He then looks back at his bowl and then shoves the bowl away. Castiel is confused at that behavior and he reaches out with his grace for his other half of grace. Or for Dean's grace now. He can feel that Dean is hungry, so why won't he eat?

"Sammy?" Dean asks and points at the bowl.

"No Dean. Sam has his own bowl. I made this one just for you." Gabriel says and Castiel is still a bit confused. Sam looks up too and then he giggles.

"Stop that Dean. I got my own, see? It's enough for both of us." Sam explains and he holds his bowl up for Dean to see. Dean still seems a bit wary about that and Castiel feels a unknown feeling in his chest. As if the heart of his vessel just..broke. Castiel closes his eyes and tries to remember Dean's childhood. He can see how Dean used to steal food to give it to Sammy. How he starved for days, if he hadn't enough food for them both.

"Oh baby." Castiel breaths, when he opens his eyes again. Dean looks up at that and he seems a bit afraid of Castiel now. 

"What is it, Cas?" Gabriel asks and he seems worried, too. Only Sam continues to eat happily and points to Gabriel out, how much he loves his mac and cheese. Castiel just shakes his head as his brother and looks back to Dean.

"Baby, you can really eat it. It's all yours. Gabriel and I will make sure that you both have enough to eat." Castiel explains carefully and at least, Dean seems to listen to him. Castiel hopes he understands, what he is trying to say. 

"Dean?" Dean asks then and points at his bowl again. Castiel chuckles at that, because Dean is cute when he refers to himself by his name. Castiel nods and Dean seems a bit relieved.

"Do you need help with eating?" Castiel asks then and Dean looks at the spoon next to his hand. He doesn't really answer and Castiel sees that Sam is nearly finished with his food. Castiel takes the spoon himself, before his boy gets even more hungry and puts some of the Mac and cheese on it. He holds the spoon in front of Dean's mouth.

"Huh?" Dean makes again and he looks so confused. Castiel never realized how cute Dean actually can be.

"Open up, baby. Here comes the choo-choo-train." Castiel tries and he smiles big enough to show Dean that it's meant to be fun. Castiel knows that Dean never had that. Maybe with his mum one time, but after Mary died, John didn't care about making his boys happy. 

"Choo-choo." Dean makes and he clasps his hands, before he opens his mouth. Castiel is relieved, when Dean accepts the food finally and Dean even smacks his lips happily, when he swallowed the mac and cheese. Castiel grins at him.

"That's right Baby." Castiel praises Dean and the smile he gets in return, is brighter than anything Castiel has seen before. Even heaven can't compare to this sunshine. The next minutes Castiel eats his own food, while he always takes breaks to feed Dean. Every single time he refers to the "Choo-choo-train" and every time Dean giggles loudly again.

"You are good with him." Gabriel says, when Dean eats his last spoonful. Castiel looks at his brother, who is already at the sink and washes his and Sam's bowl.

"You are good with Sam, too." Castiel just answers, because he doesn't know what else he could say. He doesn't think he could be a good parent for Dean, but he swore to himself, that he would try it to his dying day. Dean deserved that. 

"Do you think we are still good with them, if we put them down to sleep?" Gabriel asks laughing and Sam, who still sits at the table, gasps loudly. 

"Nooo I'm not tired!" Sam whines loudly and he even pouts at Gabriel. Castiel snickers quietly.

"Not tired!" Dean says loudly too and he yawns in that second. Castiel can't help it and he laughs loudly. Dean is way too cute in the way he rubs his eyes tiredly and there is still sauce all around his mouth and even on his fingers, despite Castiel feeding him.

"Of course you aren't, baby. How could Uncle Gabe and I just think that?" Castiel says and Dean nods seriously. He yawns again and it's a very sweet sound. Castiel smiles at his baby. _his_ baby. It's still way too surreal for him.

"Play." Dean says then and Castiel shakes his head. 

"First we need to clean you up, you dirty little monster." Castiel says happily and he tickles Dean's sides as good as he can, with Dean still being in his high chair. Dean shrieks loudly, but he sounds so happy, that Castiel doesn't want to stop.

"Be careful, he just ate." Gabriel says then and he holds out a washcloth for Castiel to take. Castiel frowns. Gabriel is right, what was he thinking. He could have made Dean sick. Already on the first day. How could Castiel ever think he was ready to be a father?

"You are right." Castiel says and he carefully washes Dean's face and fingers. Dean doesn't like that and he whines the whole time, but luckily he doesn't cry at it. Sam watches with interest, but remains silent. Castiel smiles, when he is finished and he leans closer to kiss Dean on the forehead. 

"Oh." Dean says softly and he giggles ashamed. Castiel wants to strangle John Winchester for making his sons feel, as if touches and kisses are bad things from parents. Dean and Sam need all the love they can give.

"There you go, baby. All clean!" Castiel says and helps Dean out of the highchair. Dean stays happily on Castiel's lap and even plays with Castiel's tie. Gabriel winks at Castiel and then goes over to Sam.

"How about this. If you and Dean go to bed early today, Uncle Cas and I will have a surprise for you tomorrow." Gabriel says and Castiel wants to roll his eyes. Normally he would never allow something like that. He wants Dean and Sam in bed, because they need sleep, not because of a promised offer.

But he needs to sleep as well now. With only half his grace, he is glad that he can still keep his eyes open.

"A surprise?" Sam echos and Gabriel nods.

"It will be something really cool. I promise." Gabriel says and Sam seems to think a moment about it. Dean doesn't seem to listen, his concentration is still on Castiel's tie and Castiel stops him, before Dean puts the end of It in his mouth. 

"Okay." Sam says in the end and he rubs his eyes. No wonder the kids are tired, too. It was really long day and Castiel prays he could sleep the whole night in peace.

"Very good. Then we go brush our teeth and finally catch some sleep." Gabriel says and Castiel nods at the words.

"What about a bath?" Castiel whispers to Gabriel, when he gets up and Gabriel takes Sam's hand. 

"Don't worry. I cleaned them up with my grace, as best as I could. Right now I really need some rest. But tomorrow we can give them a bath." Gabriel whispers back and Castiel nods. He isn't sure how Sam and Dean are about water, but he doesn't want to have some temper tantrums over a bath today.

"Come baby. We need to brush your teeth." Castiel says loudly and Dean just nods. In the bathroom Castiel has to smile at the scene. Gabriel is helping Sam on a little stool, so Sam can brush his teeth, while Gabriel brushes his own teeth. Gabriel makes faces at the mirror and Sam giggles the whole time. 

"Dean, I need you to stay here, alright?" Castiel says, when he helps Dean on the counter next to the sink. He wouldn't leave Dean alone, but he wants Dean to sit quietly nevertheless. Dean obeys and Castiel asks himself, if he does it out of fear, since Castiel knows who John treated disobedience. 

"Help, please?" Dean asks when Castiel takes a bright green toothbrush and gives it to Dean.

"Sure, baby." Castiel says and he puts some toothpaste on Dean's toothbrush. Then he carefully puts his hand over Dean's and helps him to brush his teeth. Dean giggles a bit too, when Castiel looks very concentrated at the task. Castiel smiles at Dean and then winks. Dean giggles louder.

"All finished. Now please rinse your mouth out." Castiel says and Dean does it as best as he can with a little cup he gets from him. Castiel watches him, while he brushes his own teeth. He remembers hating that, when he was fallen back then. But now he doesn't mind. He just has foam around his mouth and Dean giggles again at that.

"You look funny." Dean presses out between giggles and Castiel snorts. For a second Dean looks afraid that he said something wrong, but Castiel just rinses his mouth out as well and kisses Dean's cheek loudly.

"Ready for bed?" Castiel asks and Dean nods.

Gabriel and Sam already left the bathroom and Castiel follows them. Just as he wants to go in Dean's nursery, Dean wriggles in his grip. Castiel frowns at that behavior and steps into Dean's room. Dean whines loudly.

"No. No no no no." Dean cries loudly and he struggles even more in Castiel's arms.

"Dean? What is wrong?" Castiel asks and he is worried, he is hurting Dean in some way. Dean just whines louder and the next second are already some tears rolling down his cheeks. Dean gulps loudly and then he doesn't make another sound. The tears continue quietly.

"Sam." Dean whispers and Castiel understands. Oh.

"Gabriel, it seems as if Dean can't sleep without Sam." Castiel says and just a second later the wall, that separated Dean's and Sam's room goes invisible. It's still there but only fuzzy. Castiel knows he can't walk through this wall, but at least Dean can see his brother.

"Sam has the same problem." Gabriel says and for a moment he seems dizzy. His grace needs a break, they should hurry up.

"See baby, there is Sammy! Right next to you." Castiel says happily and Dean stops to struggle. He sees Sam on his bed and smiles widely at them.

"Sammy!" Dean says loudly and he waves at his brother. Sam waves back and then he lays down. Both bed are placed against the same wall and now that the wall is invisible. They would be sleeping next to each other. Castiel smiles. Someday Dean would be happy, not to see Sam while sleeping. 

"Night night?" Dean asks then and Castiel nods, before he sets Dean on a changing table. Dean looks confused and Castiel grins at him.

"Dean what's your favorite thing in the world?" Castiel asks and Dean seems to think about that very hard. Castiel grins and looks back to Gabriel and Sam. The little one is already dresses in a blue pajama with little dinosaurs on it. He looks adorable and Gabriel kisses his forehead, when Sam is tucked in his bed.

"Sammy and pie." Dean says then and Castiel snorts. He wants to ask Dean about his favorite cartoon character, but before he can does so, Dean speaks again. Really quietly.

"And you." 

Castiel is sure that his heart stops at that and he even needs to hold back his tears. Dean doesn't remember him as his angel. Or maybe he does a bit, since Gabriel couldn't change all their memories. But maybe he really means it. That he loves Castiel.

"You are my favorite thing in the world, too." Castiel whispers and Dean lights up at that. 

"I like cars too." Dean says then and he happily chatters about other things he likes. Castiel is still smiling at his baby and then he uses the last of his power to change Dean's clothes into some comfy pajamas. They show a little car with a cartoon face and Dean gasps-

"There you go, baby." Castiel says and he helps Dean into the crib. Dean lays down happily, after he still sees Sam next to him. Castiel leans down and presses a kiss to Dean's forehead.

"Castiel and I will be in our rooms this night. But if you need us, just say our names. We can hear you all the time." Gabriel says, while he sits on Sam's bed. Sam nods at that and yawns again. 

The next minutes are quiet, Gabriel is whispering a story for them and it takes them only minutes to fall asleep. Castiel feels exhausted, but also very good. Gabriel smiles at him and puts the blanket closer around Sam. Castiel looks down at Dean again, who is sucking his thumb already.

"Goodnight baby." Castiel whispers, while he gets a pacifier out of nowhere and presses it between Dean's lip, after he took Dean's thumb out of it. Dean smacks his lips and settles again. 

Castiel doesn't think he ever felt more love than in this second.


	4. We're getting there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Dean will be the death of Castiel, that's for sure.

Castiel wakes up after 8 hours of sleep and luckily he doesn't feel like puking anymore. But he can still feel how weak he is. He actually prays to his father, that at least Dean slept the whole night, too.

"Had a good sleep?" Castiel blinks and then he sees Gabriel in his doorway. Gabriel looks better, too.

"Yes. But I'm still not back to my full powers." Castiel answers and Gabriel nods. He seems a bit nervous again and Castiel sighs. He isn't ready for this. He needs his coffee first.

"I don't think we will ever be back to full power. I mean this morning, when Sam woke up, I woke up too, because his grace told me immediately that he needs to pee." Gabriel sighs and Castiel snickers a bit.

Then he realizes that maybe, Dean should wake up too.

"Sam and I made breakfast, we’re sitting outside on the back porch." Gabriel says, before he leaves again. Castiel doesn't even have the time to answer, so he just shrugs at the empty room. Since his power is at least better than yesterday, he cheats and mojos himself some new clothes. Normally he would wear his suit and trench coat. But somehow it feels weird now.

After a quick shower, brushing his teeth and emptying his bladder (why does he have to do this again?), Castiel dresses in dark grey sweatpants and a black shirt. At first he feels a bit strange, but it's actually very comfortable. He goes over to Dean's room and can't help his big smile.

It's quiet, but Castiel can sense that Dean is awake. He wonders, why Dean didn't cry out to him, when he woke up.

"Where is my favorite boy?" Castiel asks, when he enters the room. Dean sits in his crib and rubs a tiny hand over his left eye. He looks so warm and soft, that Castiel's heart does something funny.

Instead of pointing at himself or anything, Dean just looks confused around, as if there would be someone else in the room. Even the wall between Sam and his room is back to normal.

"It's you!" Castiel says happily and Dean gasps quietly, which causes his pacifier to fall out.

"Me?" Dean asks and he doesn't seem to trust Castiel's answer. For a tiny second his smile slips away, but Castiel just goes over to the crib and smiles again at Dean.

"Of course it's you, baby." Castiel assures and then strokes over Dean’s cheek, who yawns loudly. Castiel can't resist and he presses a kiss on Dean's head.

"Sammy?" Dean mumbles and Castiel shakes his head.

"Don't tell anyone, but Sammy is only my second favorite boy!" Castiel says and Dean seems so shocked. Castiel laughs loudly, because Dean's confused face is way too cute. But at the same time, it hurts. Castiel knows that Dean always thought Sammy was worth more than him and Castiel would do anything to change that. Both boys are worth everything.

"Ouch.” Dean whispers quietly, when he squirms in his crib. For a moment Castiel is confused. Did he hurt Dean? He tries to be very careful with him and he didn’t even pick him up so far.

“Dean? Are you hurt?” Castiel asks and he checks Dean’s face for injuries first. Dean shakes his head, but he is also tries to hide his face. Castiel carefully strokes over his back, but nothing seems to hurt there either.

Castiel carefully uses his grace to check on Dean and then he sighs quietly. Dammit. 

“Baby, do you need a change?” Castiel says and Dean shakes his head again. Just way more forceful this time. Castiel wants to slap himself. He didn’t even put a diaper on Dean. He should’ve known that the possibility was there, that Dean wet himself, since he was still very young.

“Are you sure?” Castiel asks and he leans down to pick his boy up. The second he presses Dean against his hip and he can see that his blankets are wet. He even feels Dean’s dirty pajama against him. 

“N-no.” Dean says and he squirms in Castiel’s arm. He even presses his hands against Castiel’s chest and tries to get away, but Castiel only holds him closer. He studies Dean’s face and to his misery, Dean looks really close to tears now. 

“Oh Dean. Baby it’s okay. It’s my fault for not putting a diaper on you.” Castiel whispers quietly and he tries to shush Dean, but he is having none of it. The second Castiel mentions a diaper, Dean starts crying for real. Loudly. 

“Cas?” Gabriel asks, when he runs into the room. Sam is behind him and looks worried as well. Dean’s whole face is already red from the crying and he is still wet and has to be freezing. Castiel is a bit overwhelmed. 

“Dean he… i mean i didn’t…” Castiel says and he doesn’t know what to do. Sam doesn’t seem to understand what happened to Dean, but that doesn’t mean Castiel wants to point it out. Dean would only be even more embarrassed. 

“Ah i see. Draw him a bath and clean him first, i’m sure that will calm him down.” Gabriel says and he winks at Castiel, before he ushers Sam out of the door. Sam whines, but at least follows Gabriel with another worried glance at Dean.

“S-sorry. Please don’t. I didn’t mean to...s-sorry!” Dean stutters between all his tears and Castiel isn’t sure why he is apologizing. It’s cleary Castiel’s fault for not thinking about the diapers. He feels still too weak to mojo him dry and Gabriel did tell him to draw a bath. 

“Not your fault, baby. I’m not upset!” Castiel tries and Dean looks up with his big and green eyes. Castiel sighs and smiles down at him. Dean needs to know that Castiel wasn’t cross with him. Dean’s breath hitches and he makes no sound. This again. 

“Okay how about a bath?” Castiel says quietly and Dean doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even try to cuddle Castiel. He just lets himself be carried, still crying quietly. Castiel kinda wants to visit John Winchester in heaven. 

In the bathroom Castiel puts Dean down on the little carpet next to the sink. Dean sniffs once and it seems as if he doesn’t want to be put down, but he doesn’t say anything. So he actually seeks comfort, he just doesn’t want to show it. Castiel kisses his hair again, so Dean understands that he is here. 

Luckily Gabriel even has some bubble bath here and Castiel has a nice and warm bath in front of him a few minutes later. He even finds some bath toys and puts them down on the edge of the tub. He turns around to Dean.

“Look baby. We even have toys!” Castiel tries to say especially happy. Dean looks at the toys for a second, but then closes his eyes. Castiel sighs quietly and goes back to him. He carefully pushed Dean on his back and takes off his wet clothes. Dean squirms now and he tries to sit up again.

“No!” Dean says loudly and then he realizes what he has done and starts to cry all over again. He even puts his hands over his mouth, as if he would like to take the word back. Castiel carefully strokes over his cheek and pries the hands away.

“Dean. I’m here to help you okay? I just need to take the clothes off, so we can clean you. You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just me.” Castiel whispers quietly. He wants to say that he already saw everything from Dean Winchester, back when he put him together in hell. But that would be bad to tell a little child. 

How could Castiel ever think, that he should be a father? He can’t even help his friend in a situation like this.

“O-okay.” Dean says quietly and he rubs over his eyes again. They are red from all the crying and his dark eyelashes are still wet from the tears. Castiel nods and then continues to undress him. He looks at the dirty pajama and puts it in the little washing machine. He has to ask Gabriel how they could get it clean again. 

“See, that’s better, right?” Castiel says and he picks Dean up again. This time Dean actually cuddles against his side and sighs. He seems exhausted and it’s still in the morning. Castiel rubs his cheek against Dean’s and smiles, when Dean starts giggling. Apparently his beard tickles his baby. 

Which reminds Castiel, that he actually has to shave now again. He rolls his eyes at that, but then concentrates back on Dean. He carefully puts Dean into the bathtub and pays attention to Dean’s face. Maybe the water would be too hot or there would be too much water and Dean would be upset again.

But Dean just squeals when he sees all those bubbles around him. He even tries to scoop them up in his hands, but that doesn’t really work out. Castiel laughs at Dean’s confused face when the foam pours through his fingers. 

“Look?” Dean says and holds a tiny bit of foam up. Castiel grins at him. He is glad that Dean has forgotten the accident for now. At the same time Dean seems way too excited about this bath.

“Yeah these are bubbles. You never had those before?” Castiel asks and he kneels down beside the tub, after he gets a washcloth and a big, fluffy towel for Dean for after the bath. Dean shakes his head and concentrates back on them. 

“They’re fun!” Dean says happily and Castiel has to grin at him, even though it feels his heart with sadness, that Dean never got to play in the tub before. Well maybe he did with Mary, but he doesn’t seem to remember that.

“I know. Look what i can do.” Castiel says and he carefully reaches into the bubbles. He puts them on his face and makes it look like a white beard. Dean opens his mouth and he seems amazed by this. Castiel chuckles, when Dean slowly reaches out to his cheeks.

“Santa?” Dean asks and Castiel laughs loudly. Dean smiles at him and then wipes the beard away. Castiel holds still, while Dean takes care of all the foam.

“Nope still Castiel.” He says, when Dean is done. Dean nods and he is still smiling up at him. There is a mischief in his eyes and Castiel isn’t sure what will happen next. But Dean just gets on his knees and presses a wet kiss against Castiel’s cheek.

“Better. Cas. My Cas.” Dean says and he sounds proud of it. Castiel’s heart beats a lot faster than it did a few seconds ago. Dean was always capable of this, but now it’s just ridiculous. Without Dean worrying about anyone to judge him (even his own self), he seems a lot more like his soul always shines. Bright and happy.

“All yours.” Castiel whispers back and Dean nods again, only to busy himself with all the bubbles again. Castiel uses that to get himself together, before he reaches out for the bath toys. There are not a lot so far, but they would do for now. There is a little shark, a turtle and also a boat in the basket.

“Dean? Do you want to play?” Castiel asks and he puts the boat on the water surface. Dean bites on his under lip. He seems to think about it, before he finally reaches out to the boat. He presses down on it and the boat sinks to the ground of the bathtub. Dean blinks and when the boat comes back up, it makes a very loud and high noise.

Dean jerks at that and seems really shocked about it, Castiel can’t help it. He laughs loudly and after Dean realizes that nothing bad happened, he starts actually to pout. Castiel feels like someone took the wind out of his sails. Dean looks really adorable like this. 

“I don’t like the boat.” Dean says and he holds his hand out for the other toys. Castiel smiles and gives him the animals. Dean gasps quietly at them and then spends the next minutes playing happily with the shark and the turtle. Castiel watches him, he didn’t expect Dean to splash with the water, but Dean plays completely in silence. 

He would love to hear him laughing loudly or to shriek at something.

Castiel shakes his head at himself. They would get there someday. He would make sure, that Dean would actually enjoy this second childhood. While Dean is busy, he reaches for the washcloth and gets the bodywash from the counter. Dean glances at him, but he seems to ignore him otherwise. 

“Now we gonna clean you up, huh?” Castiel says and Dean shrugs his shoulder. The turtle is currently riding on the shark and Castiel smiles down at that. The bubbles are not completely gone, but already disappearing. Dean doesn’t really move, while Castiel washes him, but he doesn’t make a fuss either.

“Huh.” Dean makes when Castiel slowly scrubs over his sides. Dean tries to get away from the washcloth and Castiel smirks down at him.

“Ticklish?” Castiel asks and Dean’s eyes widen. Before he can try to get away, not that he would have a choice, Castiel is already tickling him for real. Finally he gets a real reaction from Dean, because he is actually squealing with laughter. This is what Castiel wanted to hear. Dean tries to bat his hands away, but Castiel doesn’t let him. 

“S-stop.” Dean coughs after a while and Castiel has pity with him and takes the washcloth again. Dean is breathing very hard, but he is also still smiling up at Castiel. He seems more happy and relaxed than he did yesterday and all morning.

“You gonna be a good boy and let me wash your hair?” Castiel asks, when he is finished with cleaning Dean. He is proud that Dean allowed this. He had thought that Dean would like to do it himself, but then again maybe he was glad that for once somebody else cared for him.

“Okay.” Dean answers, but he seems a bit afraid of that. Castiel gently massages the shampoo into his short hair and laughs when he accidentally makes a mohawk out of it. Dean looks up at him and frowns.

“Lean a bit back, baby. I will rinse it out.” Castiel says and he gets a little bowl, so he can rinse it out as carefully as possible. Dean still seems a bit wary and he holds his hands over his eyes. Castiel helps him to lean back and luckily no shampoo gets in his eyes. Dean blinks confused.

“No ouwie?” He asks and Castiel is so surprised, he lets the bowl fall into the water. Dean doesn’t even flinch. He just looks concerned and when Castiel shakes his head, he goes back to playing with his toys, after he fished them out of the water.

“Did you expect it to hurt?” Castiel wants to know and Dean does that half shrug again. Maybe Dean had to bath him always himself and since he was still so little, he always got himself some shampoo in his eyes. Castiel sighs. 

“Cold. Out?” Dean says and Castiel sees that he actually shudders in the water. Castiel jumps to his feet and gets the fluffy towel. He helps Dean out of the bathtub and wraps him up in the big green towel. Dean cuddles into it. He looks so adorable like this, with his hair all over the place. Castiel can’t resist him and kisses his temple. Dean smacks his lips. 

“So now we can get you ready for the day? I bet Sam and Gabriel are still waiting with a nice breakfast for us!” Castiel says and Dean actually cheer at that. It’s still quiet, but he seems to be more open now.

“Hungry, Cas!” Dean babbles on the way to his room. He actually runs in front of Castiel, the towel still around him. Castiel grins to himself, because Dean looks very wobbly on his legs, but it’s so adorable, that he wouldn’t stop him.

Luckily Dean doesn’t fall on his butt and they make it safely to the nursery. Dean stops in the middle of the room and seems to be confused, as what he should do now.

“Come here you little monster.” Castiel says and Dean shrieks loudly again, when Castiel blows some raspberries against his cheek. Dean seems to think the sound is very funny and can’t stop giggling. Perfect. Castiel really needs him relaxed for the next step.

To his luck he sees that Dean’s bed is already clean and has a new blanket in it. Seems like Gabriel did this, while Castiel was bathing Dean.

Before Dean knows what’s happening, Castiel already has him on the changing table. Dean doesn’t seem very afraid of that and plays with the end of his towel. His face is red from the bath, but also his laughing. 

“You want a pacifier?” Castiel asks and Dean’s eyes widen at that. He hastily shakes his head, even though the end of his towel already found the way into his mouth. Castiel gets a pacifier anyway and holds it out directly in front of Dean’s mouth. Dean whines and tries to get away from it.

“Not a baby!” Dean says quietly and he smacks his lips, when he looks at the pacifier again. Castiel wants to laugh, because he is calling Dean a baby the whole time as a term of endearment and Dean never once complained. Yesterday Dean was already asleep when Castiel put the pacifier in his mouth and this morning he spat it out, when he saw Castiel.

“Why not?” Castiel asks calmly and bends down to get the diaper and some other stuff he would need. He even grabs the rash cream, he finds under the changing table. He is afraid Dean will be hurt, since he sat who knows how long in his wet clothes. 

“Too old.” Dean answers and continues to chew on his towel. Castiel clenches his fists and he is lucky that Dean doesn’t see this.

“That is not true. You are my...Dean and i like to take care of you. It’s okay to seek comfort in things like this.” Castiel says and Dean hides his face again. Seems like he isn’t used to people telling him this. 

Castiel decides to ignore him for now and concentrates on his new task. A diaper change. He got this. He carefully holds Dean’s legs up and slides the diaper under his butt. Of course by now Dean has realized what happened and looks up at him.

“NO!” He says again and tries to sit up. Castiel takes a deep breath. He knows Dean is only scared, because of John’s behaviour. He still seems to be lost in memories, he can’t really process. Maybe John told him one day, to be finally a big boy and use the toilet. Surely not at his current age, since Mary was with them.

But Dean doesn’t understand that right now. 

“You don’t want another accident, do you?” Castiel says quietly and at that Dean’s breath hitches. Castiel knows what will happen and it still hurts him, when Dean looks to his right side at the crib, before the tears are already falling down his red cheeks. 

“S-sorry.” Dean whispers and he puts his thumb into his mouth without realizing it. Castiel wants to laugh because seems like Dean’s oral fixation started really early in his life. Instead he continues to diaper his little boy. Dean doesn’t even squirm this time and Castiel is almost done. 

He just needs to figure out, how to fasten this damn thing. The first time he tries it, it doesn’t hold on Dean’s hips at all. Just as Castiel wants to try it again, Dean carefully reaches to the pacifier, that is laying next to him. He clearly watches Castiel out of his eye and when Castiel stays quiet, he takes it and puts it between his lips.

Castiel smiles, when Dean suckles on the pacifier. He still seems very nervous, but this time Castiel finally figures out the damn diaper. 

“All done!” Castiel says happily and picks Dean up again. He is still a bit teary, but looks a lot better now. Castiel peppers kisses all over his face, until he can see a little smile behind the pacifier. 

“T-thank you.” Dean even says and Castiel’s heart swells. God, how can he be this cute.

Getting some clothes on Dean takes only a few minutes and he looks adorable in his bright green shirt and pair of dungarees. Castiel pinches his cheek and Dean giggles, before he crawls out of his room. Castiel frowns and picks him up, when he follows him into the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asks and Dean grins behind his pacifier. 

“Hungry! Please?” He says and Castiel laughs. Of course he promised Dean a breakfast with his brother and Uncle Gabriel. Castiel just nods and carries Dean towards the back porch. Before they arrive there, Dean tucks on Castiel’s arm.

“What is it, Baby?” Castiel says and stops in his movement. Dean looks shyly at the ground, he is still paying with Castiel’s sleeve. 

“‘m sorry for...my...the bed.” Dean says quietly and he seems still upset about that. Castiel just shakes his head, he kisses Dean’s cheek again.

“Nothing to be sorry for. You are my good boy.” Castiel says and that seems to be the secret. Dean beams at him and then nods. Castiel cuddles him a little bit more, before he goes outside.

“Sammy!” Dean squeals and Castiel’s heart melts, when he puts Dean down and he toddles over to hug his brother. Sammy happily hugs him back.

Gabriel grins at Castiel. Yeah little Dean would so be the death of Castiel.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)


End file.
